


Just A Bad Dream

by Viktoria_Owl



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Other, Post-Episode: s05e20 The Wrong Jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27710987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viktoria_Owl/pseuds/Viktoria_Owl
Summary: That was just a bad dream...
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Kudos: 9





	Just A Bad Dream

Coruscant, Jedi Temple, Anakin Skywalker's apartment. 19:37.  
POV. Anakin

She left. There is emptiness in my soul, as if a piece was ripped out. I feel bad, I seemed to have lost something close, dear... She left. She left the Order. She left me. And without her, as without hands. Now there is always silence nearby. There are no jokes, I really miss her positive and enthusiastic. If not for the circumstances, I would also have left here and started living a normal life, but... I can't. I'm worried about her. Yes, she's already an adult, but still a child. Ahsoka... My Snips. I'm sad without her. Now there is no sharp tongue, her motivating, sometimes even stupid phrases. How many times has she saved me? So brave, kind, and determined. Tano... My Padawan. I could not help but protect - my fault. When she was accused of rebelling against the Republic, I couldn't believe my ears, and I couldn't believe it... Barriss. She's to blame. To be honest, to some extent I agree with her... But it was very mean to betray Ahsoka.  
Now I sit in the room and try to collect my thoughts, accept that Ahsoka is gone, and we are unlikely to ever see each other. It's hard. It's hard to lose someone with whom you went through fire and water, to lose your soul mate. We were with her as one. They understood each other without words. And now... What will happen to her? Where will she go? Will we meet again? I don't know... Does she think about me? I saw she worried when she left the Order and I noticed that she...was crying. Such a daring Tano cried. I saw her tears for the first time ... I could not accept the fact that I am now completely alone. No one will come and push me on the shoulder, no one will come to me in the evening with a steaming mug filled almost to the brim with hot tea. It was quiet in my own room twenty-four hours a day, no one remembered him, about some Chosen One. I would like to fight off these thoughts that I would be sent on a mission, any, the main thing is to get away from Coruscant and the Order, from this dastardly Council. But as for evil, they gave me a vacation for two whole weeks in view of these events with the terrorist attack. I closed my eyes as hard as I could, trying with all my might to repulse these pictures from myself... No... No, just not again! Please…

Attack...  
Letta...  
Arrest...  
Chase...  
Barriss...  
\- I'm sorry master but I'm not coming back...

From the emotions that filled me, I hit the wall with my fist, where there was a small dent. I put my face in my hands and tried not to think about anything. Tears themselves flowed down my tense palms, and I did not even notice how I began to scream from the pain that was eating through and through, as I began to tremble and convulse on my bed. Obi-Wan ran up to me and began to say something to me affectionately and tried to somehow take me in his arms. At one point, I gave up and went limp in his arms, like a doll, without thinking about anything, I stared at the ceiling. In the background, I heard Obi-Wan's lecture about attachments and their consequences. No, they were absolutely useless now. “She chose her own path, Anakin, understand this. Understand." Excuses. These impudent and senseless excuses are nothing more than empty noise.  
\- Understand?.. Understand ?! Understand that you just took and kicked out the one who served you for years?!  
\- Anakin, we... - I was fed up with them.  
\- Just. Get out. From mine. Room. - He took one last look at me before quietly opening the door in front of him and walking away. Almost two weeks have passed since that terrible day, and my attempts not to go insane were completely and completely in vain. I just want to forget it all, realizing that I can’t fix it... I would like to leave my room, but an unknown force was calling me to bed. No, not a dream, something else... Maybe Force? Something in my head whispered to me that no matter what I went to a certain point in my apartment. “Definitely going crazy,” I thought, but slowly and carefully touched the point beckoning me. Suddenly everything suddenly turned black and I suddenly fell somewhere. A figure with a crimson lightsaber appeared in front of me. Sith. He came close to me so that I could hear the sound of his respirator. On his head was a black helmet and mask. I put my hand on my sword and quietly asked him: "Who are you and what do you want me?" The Sith did not answer, turned his back on me, and calmly walked away. As soon as he went almost a meter, I saw the terrible. All the suffering of the galaxy. It was horrible ... Death of Padmé, Death of Obi-Wan and ... Ahsoka, she fought this bastard and seems to have lost. When it was over and I fell to my knees, a masked Sith hung over me, then I started to fall somewhere again.  
\- You can't fail again.

***

At the same moment, I opened my eyes and saw the hall of the high council. The masters were standing next to me, and Snips was in the center. Involuntarily, a smile appeared on my face, I had not seen it for so long! Wait...

\- Please accept our deepest apologies, Ahsoka. The council wrongly accused you.  
\- These are the signs of a true Jedi Knight! - Everything is repeated exactly as then...  
\- It was actually a test. Now we see it. The ways of the Force's action are inscrutable and as a result of this test, you are more mature than you would have been otherwise." Is this all real?..  
\- Back into the order, you can. - He said I couldn't be wrong, what could that mean? When everyone had spoken, they looked at me, expecting something. Plucking up the courage, I stepped forward, which was hard for me. Opening the still unhealed wound on the heart was much more painful than I thought. I swallowed and started.  
\- We're asking you back, Ahsoka. - I had her Padawan beads on my belt. "I can change everything!" flashed through my head before I raised them to the level of her chest. - I'm asking you back. - She hesitated a lot, her Force Signature rushed from one decision to another, and it seemed that it was about to jump out of its owner. She looked into my eyes, looking for something, then slowly looked at the beautiful thread. The one who had brought her so much pain in all these two and a half years. After thinking a little and weighing all the pros and cons, she gently squeezed my hand and looked at me with tears in her eyes.- I'm sorry, master, but I'm not coming back. - Once again, I felt as if hundreds of lasers had passed through my heart, but even this cannot compare with this. Ahsoka with the same even and quiet steps went to the exit from the hall, the door made a soft sound, announcing that there is no way to return the one who left. I shook my head. "No, no! I will not allow this to happen again! " and my feet themselves carried me after the former student. During the time that I ran after her, at the same time choosing the right words in order to return her, Ahsoka managed to reach the stone steps leading to the dangerous and turbulent city life of Coruscant. She walked towards them, as if she did not know about my presence nearby, and from the fact that I would try to do it.  
\- Ahsoka wait!.. Ahsoka, I need to talk to you!.. - She stopped literally a few meters from the exit from her former life. Sighing, she turned to me.  
\- Why are you doing this? .. - I hope everything will work out this time...  
\- The council didn't trust me! So how can I trust myself? - The main thing is to choose the right words...  
\- What about me?.. I believed in you, I stood by you! - As long as everything goes smoothly.  
\- I know you believe in me, Anakin, and I am grateful for that. But this isn't about you: I can't stay here any longer!.. Not now... - She turned away again, at the corner of her eyes I saw tears.  
\- The Jedi Order is your life! You can't just... Throw it away like this! Ahsoka are you make... a mistake! "A lump appeared in his throat, preventing him from speaking normally. "You have no room for error..."His words still echoed in my head.  
\- Maybe, but I have to sort this out on my own, without the Council... - She spoke confidently, but all the pain, fear, and doubt were still hidden in her soul. Already turning away, she was ready to step into this world unknown to her. - ...And without you.  
\- I understand, more than you realize. I understand wanting to walk away from the Order... - "Now or never!" I won't let her down, not this time...- I know. - She has already started to leave. Turning slightly away, I quietly began my speech.  
\- Was it all in vain?.. - Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her stop, but did not turn. "It's already half the battle." My heart fluttered. - Everything that we did, everything that we went through together... And... - I looked at her imperceptibly - What can we do. She stood there for several minutes, not knowing what to do. I could feel through our connection how her moral shield was breaking. She could not leave, but she does not intend to return.- Do you remember the day when you first called me Skyguy? - Slowly Ahsoka put her arms around her shoulders and quietly lowered her head. As quietly as possible, I approached her from behind, turning to face the Temple. - Do you remember how I first called you Snips?.. - Something slightly stabbed in my heart, but I tried not to notice it.- Do you remember how I taught you to run away from bandits and fast droids? - I said a little more cheerfully. - How did Obi-Wan catch us once? - She grinned, remembering the happy moments of her young life, but hearing the name of the traitor again penetrated, understood the kind of complete neutrality. "Heck! Wrong option! " I was about to tell her something else, but suddenly she began to slowly turn to me. My heart was ready to jump out of my chest because I could return it, my Snips! I, without hesitating for another minute, turned around just in time to catch the broken girl in my arms. Ahsoka pressed herself... no, rather, she fell exhausted into the hands of the one to whom she completely trusts her life. These days really wore out poor Ahsoka, hands shaking from shock, I timidly hugged my student. After a while, spots wet from tears began to form on my shirt, and each salty drop had as much pain as no other creature in the galaxy had.Over time, the flow of emotions stopped, there was only a weakness that did not allow making a decision. Involuntarily, I read her thoughts: she would like to just lie on me, get away from all these problems, run away to where only I and my Snips will be... Something in my heart ached very much, but I did not attach importance to it, now my task was much more important than just a dull pain.  
\- Do you want me to take you to this world, where we will be together? Just me and you, and no one else?.. No Council, no betrayal, just us?.. I will not give you up and hurts you. - I whispered slightly into the montrals to my student.  
\- Yes... - There was her, not quite firm, but sure answer. I gently pulled away from Ahsoka and held out my hand in front of her. Smiling as warmly as possible, I looked into her tear-stained eyes.  
\- Well, let's go home, Snips? - And she took my hand, put on a Padawan braid, and together we went to the temple, as teacher and student, as best friends.

***

As Ahsoka sat in her room, I quietly rejoiced in my room. "Is it all for real? Is this all real? Did I really bring her back?" Something in my heart told me that the Force had mercy on me and gave me another chance, which I did not lose this time. In the temple, no one cared that anyone else suffered more from the attack on the temple than anyone other than me. I saw this weariness in the Snips's eyes. Well, we were given a vacation, which meant our freedom from missions, which means being able to walk somewhere. I exhaled, stepping back from this big news, knocked on Ahsoka's room, and went to her.  
\- Ahsoka? I wanted to offer you a little walk, would you?  
\- Of course, Skyguy! - Her smile, surprisingly, shone a little brighter than usual. After a while, we already entered into conversations that were understandable only to us, and then, I think, not completely. Snips laughed a lot at my jokes, and I listened carefully to her stories. She was so happy next to me. Her smile was so rare lately, but now... "I saved her from this big mistake, I helped her." These thoughts felt so warm in my soul. We walked past an ice cream stand.  
\- Hmmm... I remember someone likes chocolate ice cream. But who? Don't ya know, Snips? - Tano's eyes lit up immediately. I definitely know her answer, it would be somehow silly to ask. Laughing, I bought my student a strawberry-chocolate ice cream in a waffle cup, and myself some tea. The Padawan's mood was impossible to describe: after so much humiliation and abuse, she still trusts me and communicates. Everything returned to normal, no explosion, no betrayal... Suddenly, for no reason at all, I began to choke. Bending over from coughing and sudden suffocation, I almost passed out as Ahsoka continued walking away, not paying any attention to me. "Maybe she hasn't heard, stress also takes strength away. She needs to relax." I thought. The darkness in my eyes did not last long and soon I caught up with the Padawan, but she did not even turn to me. Well, This day went the way I would like.

***

We already wanted to go home, it's late, it's cold, I don't want Ahsoka freeze. While waiting for the green light of the traffic light at the pedestrian crossing, I was joking in the same way, Snips laughed, despite the disgruntled gloomy passers-by. They muttered with displeasure something about the Jedi, about education, but we did not think about them. At all. A poisonous green light in the iron box had already lit up, but not a single pedestrian moved... Except Ahsoka. She walked lightly towards the other end of the road. A car came right at her and, as if in slow motion, drove into the fragile body of the girl. I wanted to scream, but my mouth wouldn't open, I wanted to run towards her, but my legs wouldn't obey, I wanted to push the child away, but my hands wouldn't move. The pain in my chest was growing at a breakneck speed, I could not look at it, but my eyes were then fixed on her. Slowly, the iron monster plunged into her little body, pushing Ahsoka down the road to the transport below us. Pedestrians rushed in all directions, someone away from the terrifying scene, someone running to help. They shouted from horror, from fear. Before my eyes appeared that Sith in black. He shook his head sadly, his hands behind his back. Ringing in my head... A black colores appeared before my eyes and I fell on the cold metal...

***

When I woke up in my room, I saw Obi-Wan with a sad expression on his face. He looked out the window without even noticing that I was awake. "We need to look around, then ask Ahsoka. She couldn't! No. No, you can't think about it! In no case!" This was my plan of action. What's on the right?.. Pills? Yesterday they were not there... The old, dusty calendar still rests on my no less dusty table. But why does it show Saturday, if I remember exactly how yesterday the alarm clock sounded, and then I looked and saw the inscription "Monday"? "Ah... Why does the body hurt so much?" I slightly lifted the blanket and was slightly horrified to see several seams. "My clothes... No, they are not my clothes! This is a white hospital gown, but I'm not in the medical wing, I'm at home, in my own room!" On the table rested the Padawan beads. A sudden pain appeared in my heart, from which I whimpered quietly, thus awakening Obi-Wan.- Hush, Anakin, hush, calm down, do not think about it, everything is okay... - He gently stroked my sweaty forehead, whispering something about calmness. Heart ached, emotions raged, strangeness frightened. Through pain, I tried to go to Ahsoka's room and find out the reason for all this, if possible. The bearded master pushed me back onto the bed, but I was more stubborn than he could imagine. Unfortunately, he knew this, and after a few minutes of my resistance, a needle with a slightly greenish liquid entered my hand and I again fell into a deep healing sleep. I woke up in the night, Obi-Wan was still sitting next to me, but already asleep. A great opportunity to enter the room opposite. With difficulty, I crawled out from under the heavy blanket, falling onto the icy floor. The master did not hear me, I can go on. After suffering, pain, suffering, torment, I still opened the cherished door. Her lightsabers rested on her desk, old things lay on the bed, the room was licked to a shine. Like Tano hadn't been here for almost a week. My heart ached with renewed vigor, but I did not react. I screamed. "Let him, let him tie me to the bed again, let him give me boring lectures, but I need an answer to my question: where is my Padawan ?!" Obi-Wan ran up to me, picked me up, and wrapped me in a blanket, scolding. I heard nothing but the beating of my own heart. Kenobi injected me with a cloudy white liquid and the pain subsided slightly.  
\- Where...? - Obi-Wan shook his head.  
\- She left, Anakin... Almost two weeks ago...

The world was crumbling around me. She left. I didn't return it. I didn't save her. It was just a stupid dream... It was just a bad dream...


End file.
